Jealousy is to some extent a habitual circumstance in relationships, are related to the level of affectivity that is held by the other person, although it also has a possessive component. As long as these do not affect the couple or the person who presents them in a meaningful way, they do not represent a big problem.
When jealousy transcends a limit and the quality of life of people is compromised, the best we can do is try to help, and in some cases it is also necessary to go to psychological assistance services. In this article we will see how to help a jealous person, in addition to reviewing the concept of colopathy.
What is colopathy?
It is a pattern of thoughts and behaviors oriented towards pathological jealousy. To understand how to help a jealous person, it is necessary to understand that this condition is limiting and harmful. The subject is not able to see things as they are happening, but as he imagines them.
The subject with celopathy is able to create fanciful stories in his mind, in order to satisfy an irrational need to investigate the jealousy that he himself has been responsible for feeding. That is, they are jealousy that does not necessarily have to fit with the reality of the facts.
Paradoxically, in his intense desire to keep the couple, the subject ends up moving away from his life, or failing to end up damaging the relationship to the point of making it dysfunctional for both members. This behavior is intrinsically related to a high level of insecurity and low self-esteem.
How to help a jealous person?
In the following lines we will review some effective methods to bring help to people who are affected by this jealous situation.
1. Help him achieve acceptance
The first thing we should look for when we help a jealous person is to make them realize that their behavior is being disproportionate, and end up accepting that they need help.
To overcome pathological jealousy, it is necessary to recognize that one is being irrational and exaggerated about the way of seeing and dealing with doubts about the fidelity of the couple. A departure from reality is generated, and it is necessary for the person to notice it.
2. Give him reasons to want to change
Once the person has accepted that he has a problem and needs help to overcome it, it is a good idea to give him good reasons to understand how important it is for him and his relationship that he changes these inadequate thinking patterns.
You can begin by listing a number of advantages, such as; lower level of censorship anxiety, and a higher level of trust with the couple, etc. This will help the other person, be your friend or your partner, acquire the necessary will to change their behavior patterns.
3. Show him ways to detect jealousy
It is likely that jealous people do not know that they are being; for that reason it is necessary that you educate the subject in the recognition of this type of behavior, when they occur, so that he himself can recognize and modulate them when they are presented.
Put examples of situations where he can demonstrate what is the correct way to proceed when we have a feeling of distrust towards our partner, tell him that we should not make value judgments, and that the best thing will always be to ask things openly to the couple.
4. Help him change his vision of things
This point refers to the fact that as long as we have the capacity to make the other person begin to see things as they really are happening and not as he is in charge of imagining them, then we will be taking good steps through a successful help.
Focus on centering the subject in real events and try to get away from the ideas that he has been unfounded based on hypothetical situations, which do not make much sense, rather than playing against him.
5. Encourage him to work on his person
If you get the other person to start investing time in himself, and learn to have a personal space where he can do things that he likes, it is very likely that his level of jealousy will decrease considerably.
A busy mind does not have time to create stories of jealousy when there is not enough information, sometimes it happens that people focus so much on their partner that they forget to do things for themselves. Thus, it is recommended that you remind the subject that he also deserves time to enjoy life independently. In the end, being jealous also means becoming dependent and obsessive.
6. Strengthen the trust of a couple
Make sure that the person you are helping renews trust in your partner, is not worth anything that is constantly looking for the 5 legs of the cat. If a person is most of the time looking to corroborate suspicions about his partner, then he will not have time to fulfill his role as boyfriend or girlfriend.