What we know as social skills are one of the contents that we most frequently intervene in the psychology consultation. These skills make it easier for us to increase our well-being both with ourselves and in our relationship with others. Social skills can and must be learned.
If you are able to use them consistently you can show them in a natural way; Without almost effort, they will be a habit for you.
Social skills to improve your relationships
We show you below the following social skills from which to improve your day-to-day relationships, divided according to the phase through which the communication passes.
1. When starting a conversation
You should try to express yourself naturally, show interest and put yourself in the other’s place, be empathetic.
Say hello and introduce yourself (if the interlocutor does not know you). Look into your eyes when you talk to the other person. Try to say the positive characteristics of the other person without being “artificial”. Your goal is to convey a good image to the person with whom you converse. It would be interesting for you to comment or ask about the reason for the meeting.
Try to modulate the volume of your voice so that it is neither too high nor too low, nor have inappropriate body postures.
2. When having a conversation
Listen actively, showing interest. There must be a proportionality between what you speak and what you listen so that you and your interlocutor can both intervene and express yourself.
Make gestures to show that you listen, and when you want to intervene. It is very important that you maintain eye contact. What you transmit verbally must be related to the object of interest of the meeting and avoid “going through the branches”. When you want to change the subject, say so. Do not use monosyllables exclusively in your interventions.
3. When giving explanations
Explain why you deny a request or a favor to a friend or acquaintance. You can offer some alternative solution. Distinguish possible manipulation attempts that can be made with:
- Free compliments (“how are you so good…”, “as you always do so well…”).
- Empty reviews (“I’ll never ask for it again…”, “do not worry, I will never ask you for help…”)
- Feelings of guilt (“I did not believe that about you …”, “I’m sad because you do not help me…”).
In these three cases, you must empathize with the reasons that lead our friends or acquaintances to express themselves like this, but you must remain firm if you are clear that your position is the one that best suits your interests.
4. To ask for a favor
It is common to consider that others know what we need or want. This is not usually like that.
In certain occasions you will have to ask for a favor and you will have to do it with confidence that your loved ones will attend your request. Do not consider at the outset that they will deny the favor. And if so, surely they will have justified reasons for it.
5. Serenity in the face of criticism
Before criticism do not let yourself be carried away by the initial impulse, reason, ponder and reflect on what they say.
From the outset, do not consider criticism as an attack. Probably your first reaction is immediate defense through a justification or a counterattack. Avoid both the counterattack without more than the systematic defense.
It is what I recommend when accepting or rejecting another person.
Life is a paradox. In many occasions you endure with resignation to the people that you can not stand or do not fall completely well, and yet, you attack those you most want … will it be because you have confidence? Shows firmness in these situations, whether it is to consolidate friendships or not to have companies that do not interest you. For this I suggest you use the behaviors appropriately:
Smile, maintain the look, position the body towards the other person and demonstrate with words and gestures the interest we have in what he says or does, etc.
Show verbally and non-verbally in an educated way what is necessary for the other person to perceive our feeling of lack of interest, responding to their comments in monosyllables, withdrawing the miranda, saying goodbye with courtesy.
7. Recognizing mistakes
Express humility and recognize that you have made a mistake, we all make mistakes that we must recognize, since that is of mature and balanced people.
Also, if you apologize, you will gain, even, respect and social recognition. If you hide the errors, you will show weakness.
8. Reception of recognition
Consider that the compliments are sincere when they come from people around you who know they value you.
I recommend you to thank and accept the recognition by whoever does it. Give thanks and express the great effort and effort you have put into getting what the other person values.
9. Admitting your ignorance
You do not have to know everything. You must consider that recognizing that you do not know about the subject spoken of in a conversation is not bad.
Avoid arrogance and do not use phrases such as: “Yes, I already knew…”, “You’re going to tell me…”, even if you knew them in advance. On the contrary, I recommend that you show interest in what others are talking about, even though you know more about the subject than your companions.
If you do not control the subject, you should not get carried away by thoughts such as “what will they think if I say I do not know…”, “I should know more about the topic they are talking about…”. Giving importance to these thoughts will not help you.
10. At the end of the conversation
You have to get to the point to finish and not extend the conversation longer than necessary.
Surely you have “suffered” conversations that seemed to never end, you have every right in the world to choose and express with all sincerity your desire to end the conversation, so do not consider it impolite to interrupt the speaker; You will have to say something like: “Sorry to interrupt you, but I have to leave …”.