Within our world we are surrounded by many types of people, as well as circumstances and particularities that shape and condition our emotional development. Thus, there are inevitably painful situations and people for whom hurting others is too simple; or moments of great happiness and people that help others to be happy.
In a way, all this – the good and the bad – can not be avoided and will always exist, since no one is perfect. We all make mistakes and, sometimes, it is we who hurt without realizing it. The problem comes, however, when you take as a habit to believe that to learn you have to suffer, when the truth is that it is not necessary to hurt to teach or be hurt to learn.
Pain and its positive side
Just a few days ago we commented – and we pick it up again at the end of this article – that learning is always a gift even if the teacher has been pain. This suffering, at least, has not been in vain since all collected fruit that will serve us for new experiences will be positive. None of us want to be harmed so that we have to draw a lesson from suffering and from insurmountable days of sadness.
“There is nothing good or bad; it is human thought that makes it look like this.”
Perhaps Shakespeare’s statement lacks its context to understand it adequately but, even without it, it also seems to have its part of truth: in cases where pain is inevitable and that escape from our hands, it is true that we can not act and that we are forced to overcome the bad trance. However, beyond these, it is also good to remember that what happens to us goes through the filter of our mind and there we have the last word.
That is, it is beneficial to discern between what is inevitable pain and what is optional suffering: when someone hurts another person without any logic, their behavior is not tolerable or admissible. Negative experiences help us to mature, but when we are forced to live them: in any other case, the wound will never be a good learning technique.
Leave mark without making wound
We do not want a wound more than we probably do not deserve, basically because life already makes us enough by itself: nobody deserves scars that are born of systematic emotional injuries. Nobody should have someone at his side who would hurt him because, yes, because some people think that the quickest way to get noticed is to cause pain.
It is not an easy task, but if you sometimes get carried away by anger causing harmful events or share your life with people who do it, maybe it’s time to rethink a change: almost all the teachings we can receive could be lived in a different way, away from grudges, envy and evil.
“Possibly he would love me, you know;
but the truth is that he had a special ability to hurt me.”
We can not let them make us feel bad for no reason and for that we have all the power in our hands, because it does not hurt who wants, but who can. It is good to choose those who leave their mark by showing us what they are honestly, making us better than we are, simply taking care of our feelings and valuing our inner “I”.
If they have hurt you, you do not have an excuse to hurt
Toxic people who hurt us more than helping us there are everywhere, so it is difficult to escape the damage that can be inflicted. However, as we have already said, taking the reins of our lives is what will help us to avoid being hurt repeatedly.
When we have experienced situations of great pain, psychological abuse and imposition by someone, we are left with a series of sequels that we must learn to solve in the best possible way to avoid being pushed to behave in a similar way. .
For example, some children who have felt emotionally neglected and have grown up with a very large family disruption have developed unsuccessful learning examples in their adulthood. In this sense, it is necessary to bear in mind that hurting with the excuse of having been wounded does not lead to anything beneficial either for ourselves or for others: if we want someone to listen to us and learn something we want to transmit to them, this is not a correct road.
“Every time someone hurts another person he does it from his own wound.
The deeper, the more harmful.”
-Miguel Ángel Núñez-