When something is taken care of, when the small details are kept and one is fascinated day by day, our relationships are better, more enriching and more profound. Undoubtedly, with our care we prevent something from breaking easily and we prevent scars and wounds from being the reigns of our relationships.
There are people who come to our life to give us light but we will only keep them if our interactions help us to tie ourselves up, to sustain that bond in a noble, sincere and strong way.
We easily forget that to keep alive the flame of friendship, love and any other relationship we must highlight some basic principles in our actions.
It is important that we reflect on this because the following golden rules go beyond the relational customs that guide our day to day and our being. Let’s see some more about these 5 principles:
1. Language is strong enough to break a heart
Words are not blown away by wind. They nest in the heart and are capable of building or destroying, calming or boosting, helping to grow or shrink. Bad words, bad forms or misguided opinions can break a heart in a catastrophic way.
The way we communicate with others says a lot about the respect we have for them, we can not believe that everything has a place in the dialogues because there is trust. It is essential, therefore, to take care of the forms and content of what we express.
When we have to communicate something negative we must do it in a delicate way and that means from the affection, from the worry or discomfort. The best way to do this is to allude to the behaviors and avoid labeling the person for a bad deed.
Our words must pass the three filters of Socrates: that of truth, that of utility and that of goodness. If something is not true, it is not useful and it does not do well to who we tell it to, it is better that we avoid making that comment.
2. There are two unbearable things: lying and falsehood
The truth hurts once but the lie always hurts. There is nothing that breaks a relationship as much as lies and falsehood. Both are capable of destroying everything in their path, of devastating the most populated forests and of causing the highest towers to fall.
The lie makes us question a thousand truths, making us question even the most frank experiences lived. There are many types of lies, of course, but a healthy relationship can not be sustained on the basis of these.
Remember that trust is a luxury item that is not given to anyone, and is that when a feeling as important as confidence breaks, something inside dies.
3. The longest distance between two people is a misunderstanding
The phrase that best illustrates this reflection is the following: “Between what we think, what we want to say, what we think we say, what we say, what we want to hear, what we hear, what we think we understand and what we understand, there are nine possibilities of not understanding “.
Wanting or not wanting to understand is not the issue, the question is to know how to meet despite the emotional state of each one, despite the priorities and even though it is often difficult to find a common ground.
The difference is that we listen to understand and not to answer, to talk about the nuisances that generate attitudes or words, that we communicate without words, that we do to understand. This must be maintained not only in the moments when we are having a conversation, but also later, when we are alone reflecting.
It is important that we also do it a posteriori, because many times the heat of the moment does not allow us to reflect in the right way, encouraging harmful and proud behaviors. Making mistakes is common and human, but we also have to know how to give a sincere forgiveness.
4. To sad eyes you have to ask them less questions and give them more hugs
Validate the emotions of others is essential to ground a relationship in acceptance. Understanding emotions and transmitting that understanding makes the difference. With this maxim we intend to assert the importance of not judging and not falling into the “I warned you” or the “you have no reason to lament for everything.”
Each person is waging their own war and, although the total cognitive and emotional empathy is in some way a utopia, we can not stop trying to make an emotional reading of the other as best as possible.
5. Dedicate time, the prettiest gift
So important is to be next to the people we love in bad times like being in the good ones. The accompaniment provides psychological oxygen and sharing means living. Surrounding ourselves with people we love and want, living with them in good times and having smiles to remember is what makes the difference.
On the other hand, it must be clear that begging time is not an option. Neither for ourselves nor for others. No matter how busy we are, we can always give a short call or a message to that person to tell him without words that he is in our thoughts. Not doing so contributes to generating a distance that over time becomes very difficult to save.
It is important that we build communication and behavior styles in our relationships that add up and that do not remain. Let’s not lose, then, the opportunity to improve as a couple, friends, children, parents, brothers, companions, etc. Making an effort to handle these 5 golden rules in a proper way will undoubtedly make a nobler, more sincere and constructive world.