Biotechnologist training, for years, for personal reasons, Pau Forner Navarro began to be interested in social and emotional skills. He researched thoroughly and was trained in these areas. From this arose social skill, a blog that today has more than 40,000 subscribers and has 400,000 page views per month. It explains in a simple way, but always based on scientific studies, the importance of developing social skills not only to relate them and connect well with others but also to be happier.
How to get it speaks this expert in social psychology in his book ‘Direct your life: learn the social skills that will lead to personal success’, whose main theme revolves around the aspects that shape the charismatic personalities and how to develop them.
Why have charisma is something especially recommended for an entrepreneur? “First, because it is scientifically proven that people with charisma earn more money thanks to persistence and self-confidence and secondly because, in whatever field, there are few leaders who are not charismatic”, is Pau Navarro’s response.
There are three legs that, in his opinion, are capable of making a person charismatic: competition, trust and closeness. He himself explains what each of them consists of.
More than the one we awaken in others, it refers to self-confidence at this point, which could also be called self-esteem. “We can hardly relate well with others if we do not relate well with ourselves,” he says. To conquer self-confidence, he also insists on demystifying a generalized belief that it is better not to undertake something if we are not previously convinced that we will achieve it successfully. This would be a limiting thought that paralyzes us before the fear of failure. “That you have to feel confident before you start something is not like that. The order is the inverse. First are the acts and trust comes with them, “he says and illustrates with the example of when we started learning to ride the bicycle. “As we go pedaling and check that we can with that we gain confidence.”
The same formula would serve to eradicate another of the emotions that lead to passivity: the lack of motivation. “Many times we think, I’m not going to do this because I do not feel motivated enough. To do something, you just have to start doing it because acting and motivation are filmed. If we keep the first belief, we will be slaves to our emotions, “he warns.
It speaks of a person being competent when he meets two fundamental requirements. The first is to be especially good in some field. Have some skills and abilities that make others contemplate them as an authority in the matter. But knowledge is not enough. The other requirement that will make the sight of others to a charismatic person is closeness. That is to say that, in addition to being good at something, you have to be a close person. The one without the other does not exist, but to explain the first one effectively the vehicle is the word.
From the closeness will derive the confidence you generate and the ability to connect with the people you are addressing. This is where the art of communication comes into play. “Being good at something depends on oneself, but the way to transfer that competence to the whole is the word and to use it effectively requires assertiveness.” The RAE defines assertiveness as the quality of a person “who expresses his opinion firmly”. However, for Pau Navarro it is a simple way of expressing oneself that sticks step by step to the path that people follow in making decisions. This process summarizes it in four steps: first we inform ourselves, then we think, that thought generates an emotion and it drives an action. The sooner we incorporate communication in this process, the more likely we are to be assertive, without waiting for emotions to dictate our actions. People with the ability to express their convictions and defend their rights without violating others is another characteristic that makes them more charismatic.
Another contributing factor is emotional communication. According to Pau Navarro, most of us are used to presenting ourselves following the guidelines of factual communication. That is to say, presenting only the facts, of the type my name is…, I work as in the company that is. Much more effective would be to accompany that information from some emoción as work as because I love the world of and I would love to help. With this second message, loaded with the occasional emotional verb, you get that the person who receives it believes that he knows you better and facilitates the connection.
“Charismatic people use positive emotional communication – not those who express negative emotions all the time – because they know that it is easier to empathize, useful not only to gain the trust of others, but also to get the other person open also by the mirror phenomenon and by reciprocity”, explains Navarro.