Improving sexual life is possible, just like doing it in any other facet. Maybe you have had difficulties in your intimate relationships and maybe you have thought that they would be like this forever, maybe you have thought that they are not bad, being able to be better. To look for strategies that help us in this sense today we travel to Harvard University.
The monotony, the habit, boredom, boredom, lack of surprise … All these factors contribute to the sexual act ends up becoming routine. Thus, due to the lack of novelty, attention or ideas, sexual relations can end up being an activity as exciting as washing dishes, cleaning the house or preparing dinner.
Currently we have a large amount of resources; almost of many, that the real difficulty is to filter them. To improve sexual life a first step can be the selection of valuable information: discard what serves us that which does not serve us. How? Well, we can use the same strategy that we use, for example with technology: testing.
As a couple exercise you can talk about these possibilities. Think that the dialogue can also be a very exciting stimulus. Somehow, let’s think about the communication as in the mattress of the couple.
Lubrication conditions satisfaction
If you are a woman and you are in the transition to menopause, you may have noticed a lack of natural lubrication. Well, identified the problem, there is the possibility of using lubricating gels.
Just like when we lose vision we wear glasses. We are willing to pay the price for having a good view. Why not introduce a lubricant if we need it? The question is to avoid the appearance of pain or discomfort, potential enemies of excitement.
The ability to caress
There is a technique in psychology called sensory focus. This technique is used in different sexual dysfunctions. For example, it is used to reduce the anxiety associated with intimate contact.
It’s about touching, caressing, but without pressure. Contact with the genitals in the early stages is prohibited. As confidence grows and anxiety begins to diminish, freedom of movement is restored. The goal is to have a pleasurable complete sexual relationship.
On the other hand, our body is full of nerve endings and almost any area of our skin can become an erogenous zone. What makes the difference will be, in addition to the number of nerve endings, is the ability we have to stimulate it.
Try to relax
There are people who get nervous before having sex. Some degree of nervousness is normal, even healthy. However, when the anxiety is very intense, its negative effects soon appear.
When we feel anxious about an intimate relationship, we may abandon it sooner rather than later. When we feel anxious we release a series of hormones and neurotransmitters that are incompatible with pleasure, excitement, lubrication, erection, etc. That’s why it’s important to learn to relax in these situations.
There are many techniques of physiological deactivation or relaxation. One of them is diaphragmatic breathing. It is about breathing slowly and deeply, activating the diaphragm. This is achieved by abdominal breathing, as opposed to chest breathing.
We can also use visualization exercises, tell us reassuring phrases or practice Jacobson’s progressive muscle relaxation. It’s a matter of finding the one that works best for you. Consult with a psychologist to teach you how to relax.
Test different postures to improve sexual life
In sexuality it is very important to have imagination, either one’s own or that of others (information: first strategy). Why? Well, not to be predictable, to be able to surprise the other, not to lose that exciting sensation of arriving at a place for the first time or the pleasure of returning to another that you have not visited for a long time.
Statistics indicate that 80% of sex takes place in our brain. Limiting ourselves to that 20% purely physical will burn calories, but it will deprive us of the other dimensions of sexuality.