When we speak of emotional immaturity, we refer to a lack of development in the emotional field. So, let’s think about emotional maturity as a process that requires development; the stimulus that the own relation with the emotions and the own learning provides when saving the difficulties that impose these to us.
In addition, another way to stimulate this emotional maturity is found in our memory and its most genuine content: our memories. Today we will talk about this possibility. As Enrique Rojas rightly points out in his article The Immature Personality, the characteristics that would reveal this type of lack are emotional instability, lack of self-awareness and lack of responsibility, among other points.
At present, given the enormous amount of material that we have on this subject and of recent generation, we can feel a little overwhelmed. We can think, “I want to improve the management of my emotions; But, where do I start? Who do I pay attention to? Well, today we bring you a good way to start this journey: simple and valid for all.
A journey of maturity
To make this journey of maturity we recommend entering a state of meditation. This is precisely what some therapists do in their consultations. For this, we can be sitting or lying down. We close our eyes and focus on our breathing.
Next, we will visualize walking along a path. There may be many flowers, leaves or an arid path. The important thing is that we look at everything we see, that we notice the air and the sun warming us from above.
Now, at the end of the road we will see a small cabin with a door. We will enter it and discover some stairs that go down. We will go to them and begin to lower them. From this moment, we will find three floors.
The room of bad memories
On the first floor there will be a door and, next door, an elderly person. She will look at us smiling and give us an instruction: choose one of the memories we will meet. All of them are experiences that have marked us negatively.
The options are diverse; most of them will have accompanied us for a while, but they will be unprocessed; they have accompanied us, but we have not stopped to analyze them. Let’s look closely at the shelves in the room and, when we have our object, we will go out the door.
Some negative memories are experiences that have left us with a strong imprint that is the reason why, at the present moment, we have different problems or limitations.
The room of positive memories
Once we have left, we say goodbye to our friendly doorman and continue down the stairs. Thus, we will access the second floor, where we will find another doorman and another door. In this case, what will be behind will be positive memories.
We will go through the door, we will observe all the memories that there are in the room and we will choose the one that most appeals to us or that has more meaning for us. Once we have it, we will leave, we will say goodbye and we will continue down the stairs.
Our refuge, the last season of the journey of maturity
On this journey of maturity we will reach the last of the plants. In it we will find … a door. When we pass it, we will be in an idyllic place. For each person it will be different. Nature? Snow? Animals? It is a place where we will be comfortable and that will transmit a lot of peace.
In the center, there will be a path where we will lie on our backs. At that time, we will remove the memories we collected from our backpack. We will watch them closely until we realize that both good and bad are part of us, of our history.
Once we have been in that space of peace, we will take a last look and return where we came from. On the way, we will leave each memory in each room with the corresponding emotion that they have caused in us. We will go out again, we will go backwards the way of the beginning and we will open our eyes.
If we choose a stone as a negative memory, this can allow us to reflect on the rage we have been saving and that we need to let go. This will stay in the proper room.
Accept our history
What this journey of maturity seeks through memories is to accept what has happened to us, integrate it and help us manage our emotions. It does not matter if we are thirty or forty years old.
For this reason, it is good that we make this journey of maturity when we need it. If we have already adopted meditation as a habit, doing it will be much easier for us. Otherwise, we may have some difficulties to relax and let ourselves go.