“Emotional maturity is a term used to name those people who have a high Emotional Intelligence. They are people who understand their emotions and those of others, have good social skills and regulate their behavior to adapt to the time and environment.”
Emotional maturity can be reached, but it is necessary to carry out a series of habits and behaviors to achieve it.
Habits to achieve emotional maturity
We must bear in mind that emotional maturity is linked to personal development, that is, it develops over time through certain habits. While it is true that there are some emotional intelligence courses that can be useful for acquiring emotional skills, many people learn these behaviors as they relate to other individuals and experience different life situations.
Emotional maturity is intimately linked to psychological well-being, since various studies claim that emotionally intelligent people are happier and have greater success in life.
1. Give full attention
Mindfulness is a term that has become very popular today with the rise of Mindfulness, but it has an ancestral origin, because it is rooted in Buddhism and its beliefs. The truth is that mindfulness makes us emotionally intelligent people, makes us aware of our emotions and our thoughts and helps us pay attention to the context that surrounds us, to better adapt to it.
People who work mindfulness enjoy greater emotional balance and have a non-judgmental mentality, and are treated with compassion and accept the failures of life.
2. You learn from mistakes
Acceptance is one of the keys to emotional well-being and is indispensable if we want to be happy. Life teaches us that things will not always come out as we wish, but often we can be too hard on ourselves.
Actually, if we have the right attitude, failures can be good opportunities to grow. That is why it is necessary to set aside perfectionism, because as much as we think it is good for us, it hurts us.
3. Develop assertiveness
Emotional maturity is usually reflected in interpersonal relationships when communicating with other people, and although we will not always agree with the opinions of others, it is possible to accept them and say what we think without having to disrespect them. to nobody.
This is what is known as being assertive, because assertiveness is a style of communication in which, despite not agreeing with what another person says or thinks, we act without being rude and we are confident and confident, always respecting. Assertiveness is a key social skill.
4. Know yourself
Self-knowledge is one of the principles of emotional intelligence, and therefore of maturity when managing emotions. And it is to know oneself and understand the emotions we experience is necessary to regulate these emotions.
To improve emotional self-knowledge it is good to have a diary of emotions. In the diary of emotions you can write every night before going to bed the emotions that you have experienced throughout the day and reflect on them.
5. Listen actively
Active listening is one of the essential qualities that people must possess in order to relate successfully with other individuals. And is that active listening is not the same as hearing. We often think that putting the ear when someone speaks to us is really listening, but in reality it is not like that.
Active listening is not thinking about what we want to say before a person has finished speaking, is paying attention not only to their verbal language but also non-verbal, and is to read beyond words.
6. Emotionally validate others
Emotional validation refers to the learning, understanding and expression of acceptance of the emotional experience of another individual.
It has to do with empathy and acceptance of the emotions of others, but also with the expression, that is, with letting them know. In other words, the validation is not only to accept the emotions, but this acceptance must be communicated to the other person.
7. Improve emotional control
Mastering Emotional Intelligence skills is necessary to regulate emotions, and is only possible when one is aware of their emotional experience. Although sometimes people can get carried away by the situation, we have the ability to reflect and make wise decisions.
Many times it takes the will to know how to regulate emotions.
8. Prioritize the “we” in interpersonal relationships
Emotional maturity makes sense in the relationship with other people, that is, in social relationships. Regarding the couple or in the work environment it is appropriate to prioritize the “we” over the self.
In the case of work, for example, the union is strength, and in the case of the couple, thinking about both helps overcome conflicts. And it is frequent to lose control with the people we love, and it is not strange that we focus on our needs and let go of others. Emotional maturity is understanding this.
9. Unclip when necessary
Attachment is not necessarily bad, because ties with loved ones help us grow and develop. However, many people cling to objects and even their stories about what is right or wrong.
Growing up emotionally means being critical of reality, living the present and being aware of what attachment is. To avoid emotional pain, it is necessary to learn to detach ourselves from our beliefs, our thoughts, our memories and, ultimately, our private events.
10. Leave the past behind
Detachment also includes leaving behind the past and living the present moment, because the past we can no longer live. As I have said, frustrations can help us grow, because when we are stuck in previous periods of our lives we do not move forward.
Of course we have to take into account what happened, but only as a raw material to learn. Nothing we have done in the past serves to put a “label” on how we should behave. Accepting that our actions and our emotions are flexible is a necessary step to mature.
11. Stop complaining
Criticizing yourself for what you did not do well and criticizing others is paralyzing. Emotional maturity means being realistic and being in constant movement. That is why it is necessary to learn from mistakes and use bad experiences to grow as people.