How do you feel about yourself? What do you think others think of you? Do you think you are capable of achieving what you propose? Do you think you love yourself enough?
If the answers to these questions have been negative, it is likely that we need to develop a healthy self-esteem, which is nothing more than a positive and constructive assessment of ourselves.
Having a good self-esteem is the basis of self-confidence. This will allow us to face the challenges with greater security, adopt an attitude towards a more joyful life and will make us develop in a more adaptive way in our day to day life. What can we do, then, to learn to accept oneself?
The construction of self-esteem
Self-esteem is built from an early age in terms of the affirmation and assessment we receive from authority figures, such as our parents, teachers or leaders; and its development will influence in our way of facing situations during the adult life: in our social relations, in the confrontation of challenges, etc.
It is likely that in times of confusion and adversity, such as a failure in a relationship or the loss of a job, we are led to doubt our ability to reestablish ourselves and get afloat, and therefore, may be affected.
However, and despite the fact that self-esteem is built from childhood, we can work on it in adulthood to get to love ourselves and feel better with ourselves.
What to do to accept yourself?
When self-esteem is not worked, pictures such as depressive symptoms, eating disorders, anxiety and social phobia, among others, may appear. Do you want to start training her?
If so, take note and continue reading…
1. Know yourself
Do a mental and behavioral scan to identify your skills and your efforts and value them. Make a list of everything you have achieved and make you feel proud. Keep that list close for times of self-questioning. In addition to this, recognize your main weaknesses and rethink to work on them.
We all have, although we do not show them to others. However, do not obsess about achieving perfection; his search is nothing but lack of acceptance.
2. Challenge your concerns and get your dreams real
We have seen that validation is important when it comes to building healthy self-esteem and accepting oneself. We all have dreams, so challenge yourself and work daily to achieve them.
When you feel that little by little you are getting them, you will feel that you are surpassing yourself with effort and you will have a great reason to validate yourself.
Make things happen and do not get carried away by “whatever happens”, much less by what you think about you, even family or friends. Remember that phrase by Will Smith in his movie In Search of Happiness: “Never let anyone tell you that you can not do something. If you have a dream, keep it”.
3. Do not compare yourself with others, compare yourself
Do not try to copy a life that is not yours or a person that is not you. You are you, and the other is the other; you have your times and the other has yours. We are all born and we build ourselves from a different mold and with different circumstances; The person you have to compare yourself with is yourself. To do this, always look back on your line of life and remember all the progress you have been building.
4. Take care of your internal dialogue
People with low self-esteem often have an enemy inside that does not stop sabotaging it with verbalizations of the type “you are not capable”, “you can not”, “you will do it wrong, do not try” … Put your thoughts in your favor and build an ally that says “you are capable”, “try it and if it does not go well, nothing happens, you will learn and you will end up getting it”.
Control the way you talk to yourself, generating a more positive and adaptive discourse so that your emotions are more pleasant and achieve the goals you set.
5. Get out and ask for compliments from others
Reinforce yourself positively when you are achieving your proposed objectives, however minimal they may be. Choose some people from your circle of trust and ask them for feedback on your projects and challenges. As we have said, to build self-esteem it is also important that important people in our environment validate us.
6. Power your talent
If we put a bird in a cage throughout its life, do you think that if we release it, it will know how to fly? Therefore, develop what you do well. It does not mean that you do not dedicate yourself to what you like or that you stop doing things that you like just because “you do not get well”.
However, it is important that when we identify skills in ourselves, whether it is practicing a particular sport or cooking, it is important to dedicate time to that activity to develop it and feel good when we do it.
7. Take care of the environment around you
Try to approach people who have confidence in themselves and have achieved their goals. Observe their language, their way of communicating and their behavior and try to be a role model for you. Stay away or try to limit certain conversations with people who do not value you and are a bad influence.
8. Give yourself time
The process of developing healthy self-esteem requires time and patience. Do not despair or throw in the towel when you make mistakes: learn to see error as an opportunity for growth and not as a failure. We are human beings and we all err. When people succeed we only see their success; However, the effort, dedication and failures are also there but they are not so easily observable.
How to feel strong in the face of adversity or in the achievement of our goals?
Self-esteem is like a muscle: if we do not exercise it, it can atrophy. Do we want our abs to be our only strong muscle? Having esteem should be the greatest strength we have, because it will be our ally to feel happier with ourselves and, in general, with the life we have built thanks to it.