Keys to Develop your Emotional Intelligence

“Be patient. Your skin took a while to deteriorate. Give it some time to reflect a calmer inner state. As one of my friends states on his Facebook profile: “The true Losers in Life, are not those who Try and Fail, but those who Fail to Try.”

By Jess C. Scott.

Since not long ago what was most valued and measured in matters of intelligence was the “IQ” (intelligence coefficient). That is, skills such as mathematical logic intelligence or the ability to solve problems. But then they began to discover and assess another set of issues such as Howard Gardner’s Theory of Multiple Intelligences, skills and competencies, or the “IE” (Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence as a great precursor).

A little boy holding a book with a surprised expression on his face

Definition of emotional intelligence

After EI, more and more people talk about “IS” (Social Intelligence), since neuroscience has discovered and confirmed that our brain is programmed to connect with others. It seems that every time we interact with other people, different regions of our brain are activated in unison, certain hormones are secreted and connections are generated.

Same thing happens between the person who tells a story and the person who listens to it: both activate the same parts of the brain and connect. That’s why stories are so powerful.

We have all met very intelligent or gifted people (great cognitive abilities), but in some cases with very low emotional intelligence and reduced social capacities. All this leads to countless problems in personal and work relationships.

The definition of emotional intelligence is the ability we have to manage and understand our own emotions. Not only it helps to improve our quality of life, but to develop and have better relationships with others, more respectful and understanding. In addition, our quality of life is directly proportional to the quality of our mental state, which is why it is so important.

Theory of multiple intelligences by Howard Gardner

During the 1980s, Gardner surprised the world with an idea: that our mind is not composed of a single skill called intelligence, but of many that work together. What had happened until then? That had been ignored.

According to this American psychologist, there are eight mental abilities that make up the Theory of Multiple Intelligences. Now, Gardner himself says that there could be many more that have not yet been discovered.

  • Linguistic intelligence
  • Logical-mathematical intelligence
  • Space intelligence
  • Musical intelligence
  • Body intelligence
  • Intrapersonal intelligence
  • Interpersonal intelligence
  • Naturalist intelligence

The emotional intelligence of Daniel Goleman

In several of his books, Goleman explains to us that part of our emotional intelligence (or ability) is found in our own epigenetics. That is, it can be activated and deactivated, depending on the emotional and social environment in which we develop.

These were the words of Daniel Goleman: In the best of cases, the CI seems to contribute only 20% of the determining factors of success.

Developing emotional intelligence

Here there are some of the keys to develop emotional intelligence that you should keep in mind:

  • Self-awareness: To realize or know how to recognize our emotions and not let ourselves be carried away by them. Mental strength
  • Consciousness: learn to be more aware of what is happening inside of us and accept the power of our vulnerability.
  • Self-analysis: learn to evaluate our emotions and be able to identify them; observe where our focus is or where we are directing our attention. That way, we can understand where those emotions come from.
  • Self-control: the ability not to react and know how to measure your patience. Learn to take time to breathe, reflect and take distance from a situation. This way we will have a better perspective and greater emotional control.
  • Empathy: sometimes we are so wrapped up in our own problems, or our ego insists on being right, that we stay locked in a tunnel with only one vision. In other words: we lose the ability to understand the point of view of others or the why of a situation. Undoubtedly, empathy is necessary to recognize the feelings of others, eliminate indifference and increase our level of understanding.
  • Self-motivation: learn to direct our attention towards what we do want, towards goals and objectives to which we aspire. If we do not have positive goals to focus our attention on, our mind focuses on problems, on obstacles and on everything that does not work. In this way, it will be very difficult for us to overcome difficult moments and / or stop procrastinating.

As a conclusion, emotional intelligence helps us to better control our moods, to get out more quickly from destructive spirals, to improve our relationship with ourselves and, therefore, with others. Well worked, it will allow us to see things in a more positive way. And, above all, do not forget that people with a greater ability to manage their emotions have more opportunities and more success in the professional field.

And remember:

“Educating the mind without educating the heart is not education at all”.

By Aristotle.


Comments are closed.